Adoption is a scary word......

So after finally deciding to go forth with the step-parent adoption, there are some things that recently came up and started bothering me.

The unknown....is he going to contest it. Or will he just ignore it. Is ignoring it contesting?

My daughter only knows my Husband as her Daddio and when should I tell her about all this mess, now? Later? At all?

I'm scared. Am I doing the right thing...(anyone who knows the situation would scream YES!) But I have doubts, I doubt myself and I doubt my actions. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

It's not like I am in hiding, My mom has lived in the same house for 22 years. I'm pretty sure she would pass on the mail. Wouldn't she? Hopefully....

I don't have the ransom to finalize this adoption, I don't have any money at all. It's going to cost a small fortune and we should probably use it for a down payment for a new vehicle.

Why am I even questioning this.

I don't want my daughter to turn 18 and hate me for this, I don't want her to ask me why I didn't try harder to maintain a relationship.

Should I have told him to leave us alone....To leave me alone.. To never call me again.

He only wanted me though, never wanted her.

I have no idea what I am going to do.

What the heck am I going to do.

Lord, I know you know and you will either provide or not. I long to hear your answer.

Sam

I should probably introduce myself.

My name really is Samantha 

I am 21 for another 16 days (that is if the world doesn't end) 

I have a 4 year old who cracks me up, while simultaneously drives me absolutely insane

I have a husband who I hope loves me unconditionally 

I have a dog, who hates me and counts down the milliseconds until my husband gets off work

I really don't even know who I am, but I'm trying